one
Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

my answer is nayyirah waheed. she's my favorite poet and i would love to pick her brain about her work and what she stands for. i'm really interested in how she got into her style of writing and where she finds her inspiration.

one
Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

shirley jackson for me because now i'm really interested in the type of person she was for stories like hers to come out of that head. i would want to experience what the real person is like.

two
Would you like to be famous? In what way?

i want my writing to be known, so i guess that's some level of fame. i don't desire that... can't leave my house without people pouncing on me, have to hire 5 bodyguards, my coffee runs are posted all over the internet kind of fame. i don't want my star to shine too much! i want to live my life in peace like meg cabot and stephen king lmao

two
Would you like to be famous? In what way?

i couldn't handle that either or really any kind. i don't want fame. i would be happy being in the background letting your star shine.

three
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

I only ever rehearse if it's a business call because i want to be taken seriously. sometimes i "um" a lot when i'm not ready because my thoughts aren't in order. but if it's a personal call, nope. you get all of this stream of consciousness.

three
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

i always rehearse what am i'm going to say initially. i know there's no way to predict what way a conversation is going to go but because of my anxiety issues, i have to have an idea first.

four
What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?

a perfect day would be... my favorite weather, no work unless it's writing, spent with people i love and good food. no arguments and no negativity. i'm easy to please, i don't need much.

four
What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?

for me, it's just the two of us. someplace really peaceful and outside, with thor and enjoying the weather, our hobbies and food. our first date was a perfect day for me.

five
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

this morning in the shower. i sang.... what was i singing? i think it was "adore you" by harry styles

five
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

this morning as well but you were already gone by the time i took a shower. i can only sing when there is no one else in the house. i can't remember what i was singing though. i sing along to spotify in the shower.

six
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

um, i want the mind of a 30 year old so i wouldn't lose my memory like i imagine a 90 year old does. even if my body is jank, i can still hold conversations. unles my mouth doesn't work... that's a sad thought. i like talking.

six
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

i would want the body of a 30 year old, because i think the older we get and the more we learn, the wiser we are and it's important to me that i learn all i can in this life. i don't want to reach 90 and still have the mentality of a 30 year old.

seven
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

oh god, no. i don't like to think about dying. i hope it's old age, though. peacefully in my sleep.

seven
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

i'm probably going to end up dying from some stupid accident because i try to live my life too safe.

eight
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

hmmm three things. reading, an appreciation for art in different forms andddd watching movies together.

eight
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

our appreciation in literature specifically, we're both male, and we're both dog people

nine
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

you and my family.

nine
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

not a lot bad has happened in my life. i haven't experienced what a lot of people go through in terms of trauma. even though laine called the xander thing trauma, but i wasn't really bullied or anything, i was left alone. so i'm thankful that i haven't had to put up with too much

ten
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

i would change the constant feeling of not being good enough because i made choices i wanted to. i don't think my parents realized they did it, but it wasn't fun in the least.

ten
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

i wish i could change my brain so i wasn't always so scared all the time growing up. i think my parents catered too much to my anxieties which just kind of instilled them, they were really things i had to face. they sheltered me a lot, even though i know it was with the best intentions

eleven
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

i was born in san francisco and lived there until i was 7 and we all (me, my parents and my 3 siblings) moved here to seattle. i was a klutz and broke just about every limb, stubbed about all of the toes. i got bullied a lot as a kid because of it and, to help me defend myself and learn more coordination, my dad taught me karate. i kicked ass. i was amazing. i fought a lot of alice's fights for her because her mouth got and gets her into trouble but she can't fight. i went to college, got a BA in English and am currently working on my MFA in Creative Writing. I hope to be a great published author under my actual name one day and that my mother doesn't give me shit for not mentioning it until i was established since she loves to think i'm wasting my life just working at a coffee shop.

eleven
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

i was born in new york, but we moved here when i was really young when my dad got a better job paying more. i didn't speak to anyone but my family until i was six years old. i was almost held back in first grade because of it. i stayed pretty much to myself all through grade school and college until zelda and robin adopted me. i finished out my BA in art history, met Xander on the last day of college and that was the first relationship i was ever in. i just want to be able to continue to live my life without causing too much trouble and being happy and i'm probably still too close to my parents, but i'm an assistant curator now and hope later to become a real curator and do more work at the museum or do something else in art since i don't have the talent myself. oh and i have two older siblings

twelve
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

i'd love to be able to teleport because, not only is it a money saver, but i would also be able to get places faster in case there was a family emergency. i'd never be late again and i would be able to see more of the world when i wanted to to.

twelve
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

i'd like the ability to be able to read minds so that i could preplan a conversation and know a person's mood and frame of mind before i approached them. and if it wasn't a super power, i would just like to wake up with more confidence.

thirteen
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

i don't want to know. i know myself and i will try to change things and just fuck up the good things that are meant to happen by worrying too much. i like surprises, anyway, and feeling true emotions about things. preparation just makes me feel like i'll fake reactions like people who find out too soon about their surprise birthday parties.

thirteen
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

just to ease my anxieties i would want to know if i'm at least successful enough to live contently and i'd want to know if we were still together because i would rather be able to prepare for a break up if it were to happen, which i hope it never does. i think knowing those two things would calm a lot of the anxiety i have about life in general at this point.

fourteen
Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

i have always dreamed of traveling around the world but i just have too much stuff going on all the time. that's why i'm happy we have that plan to travel. i've always been in school and in the summers i'd go to france because that was just the family thing. but once i got to college, i was working all the time and was never able to take a true vacation for as long as i want.

fourteen
Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

traveling is the big one for me too because of my fear of doing it alone and not knowing who to go with. i read so much about the world but it seems like completely fictional places in my head because i have barely been anywhere, so to be able to see some of those places and experience the culture for myself has always seemed like such an incredible thing that i feel we're blessed to be able to do in the modern world and i'm excited to experience all of this with you

fifteen
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Publishing my book all on my own with no help other than that of my publisher. I didn't want either of my parents involved because I wanted to know that I could do it based on talent and not my family name. and I did. I just hope that it stays that way when I eventually start using my real name.

fifteen
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

my biggest accomplishment. xander was sexually harassed a few months ago by the guy i was working under at the museum. i stood up to him to protect xander and others, he threatened me after i quit because i didn't want to work with a sexual predator and he threatened me saying i would never work in the art world again. i took the situation to HR which inevitably led to the guy being fired. i worked at a gallery for a little while, while this was going on. but inevitably applied back at the museum for a higher position than where i was at which took a lot of courage and while i didn't get the job i applied for, they gave me a new one with salary and said they would work with me to get me there.

sixteen
What do you value most in a friendship?

This hurts a little at the moment but... loyalty, communication and honesty. They're what I value in any relationship. I need to know that they are there through thick and thin and that they will always be open and honest and not shut down on me. I thrive on communication because I'm not a psychic and I don't like letting things fester because they aren't being spoken about. That's when relationships, of any kind, end up being irreparable.

sixteen
What do you value most in a friendship?

i need to know i'm safe with someone, which i think sounds kind of dumb. but i need to know my sensitivity isn't going to be something made fun of, nor my anxieties or shyness. i need people around me who understand my nature and that i know i can trust myself with, because i have a hard time saying no in a lot of circumstances out of fear of hurting someone's feelings. i need to know the people around me aren't going to put me in situations that will hurt me. communication is very important to me too. i'm struggling with that as well since apparently some people have such negative opinions of us and i don't know who it is, so i don't currently know who i can trust outside of the few people i've known a long time.

seventeen
What is your most treasured memory?

my most treasured memory is when i was around eleven and we were in france for our family reunion. i went on a road trip with just my dad to cannes and we did this little... trolley tour of the area because it was just too much to see in one day. but i remember the trolley went up this hill that let us see so much of the city and the ferris wheel and we got off and decided we would walk back down to where we left the car. we sat up on that cliffside for hours and we talked about everything. any issues i was having in school, new places he was going to visit, stories of the places he'd visited. he told me about my grandpa who i never met because he died about three years before i was born and it was just a really great bonding experience. i'd never been alone with him like that before. when i was younger, my dad was around but it was in doses because he was always somewhere else filming.

seventeen
What is your most treasured memory?

My fondest memory was when my sister moved out. she's the middle child, so once she was gone, it was just me and my parents. to kind of take the anxiety off now having neither of my siblings, my parents and i took a trip out to tacoma to camp for an extended weekend. and honestly, in our family, it's glamping. it barely counts as camping because the cabin we have is so modern. but the was the first time i was alone with my parents without either or both of my siblings around and it helped me transition into being the only one in the house because that entire weekend we really bonded as a trio, like this is how we are going forward. my dad and i fished and my mom and i went hiking and the three of us would sit around the campfire telling stories together, taking turns to finish the story and i think back on that weekend a lot.

eighteen
What is your most terrible memory?

my most terrible memory... i'm not sure if anything truly terrible has ever happened to me. bad things, yeah, but nothing i would call terrible. i've been fortunate enough to not have experienced anything awful yet in my life.

eighteen
What is your most terrible memory?

i hate to keep harping on it but my most terrible memory is xander leaving because it was so sudden but it was a lingering thing. like when i got up that morning and he was gone. i thought it was a work thing. so i went about my day normally. but he hadn't texted me all day like he normally did. i figured maybe he was in his head about something, that happens. so i let it be. but then it got later and later, and still no word. nothing all night. so i went to bed restless and woke up, still nothing. again no word, nothing through out the day and this went on day after day. i texted him, called him, emailed him, went to his apartment, asked his best friend mollie. it took a week of living in this nightmare not knowing before i had to accept he left me. his land lord told me the next week he had moved out. his lease was up anyway. just not a word. no closure. just there, then gone. our last conversation was about the pasta i made and even though it was terrible, he told me it was good and he loved it and he loved me. and that feeling doesn't just go away, it sticks like tar. because just two days before we had bought new sheets. i had made space for him in the home. we'd had a breakthrough in our relationship a week earlier and i had finally felt fully secure and safe.

nineteen
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

if i knew that i was going to die in a year... i would go through my bucket list a lot faster. probably pick the things on there that are the most important to me. isn't there a movie where someone knows they're going to die soon so they do a bunch of things they would've done over the span of the rest of their life? they traveled a lot and got married and spent their money on whatever they wanted. do you know which movie i mean? it's on the tip of my tongue... anyway, i'd do that. live my life to the fullest until my very last breath. get all my affairs in order and enjoy things.

nineteen
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i wouldn't change anything. i'm with the person that i want to spend the rest of my life with. i work where i love working. i would try to spend more time with zelda, robin, laine, and sawyer than i do now, along with my parents and try to get closer to my siblings despite the distance. but overall, the core of my life is where i want to be. everything else from here is just additions to an already good place.

twenty
What does friendship mean to you?

i treat my friends like they're family because i consider them to be. the people i call friends are my extended family, bonded not by blood but by a more organic love for each other. friendship is support and comfort and a safe space with people you trust and have chosen.

twenty
What does friendship mean to you?

that's similar to how i feel too. it's the people we've chosen to be our family rather than being born into their lives. to me, that can be even stronger than blood because there's nothing but the respect and love between you to bond you together. it takes more work. friendship is what keeps us sane, protected, and the social creatures we naturally are as a species.

twenty one
What roles do love and affection play in your life?

i need love and affection in my life, i think everyone does. i don't necessarily need the romantic version of these but it's a great addition. having love and affection means that i'm not alone. i don't think i'd be very good in this world if i was alone. i thrive off of the relationships in my life and i feel love for everyone i keep in it. i'm a needy son of a bitch who loves cuddles

twenty one
What roles do love and affection play in your life?

i've always had love in my life and hugs from my parents and things but i didn't really understand how much i needed affection until my first relationship when i was twenty-two. i didn't really have any close friends until zelda and robin and so i kind of lived my life without it until i was in a relationship and then i learned to really love it and felt really empty without it when we were apart. and then i just accepted that that part of my life was over when he left, because i didn't see how i would be getting into another relationship because i don't put myself out there, but we happened really quick and it felt natural with you. so its something i've learned i've needed later in life than knowing i needed it as a child.

twenty two
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

ambitious, faithful, passionate, sincere and flexible

twenty two
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

intelligent, patient, supportive, delicious, and imperfectly perfect

twenty three
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

my family is entirely too close; we know everything about everyone. we grew up in an extremely warm and accepting household and our parents showed us love in every way they could. there are about two years between each sibling save for me and Odie because she's five years younger than me so we were all super close growing up and we looked out for each other. i wouldn't say it was happier than most but it was definitely it's own brand of childhood.

twenty three
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

my family is really close too. even though my siblings don't get home often except for like the holidays, they're in constant contact with my parents and when i was in school at the same time as them, my siblings looked out for me since i was quiet and different. honestly, if we hadn't met, it's likely that when laine and sawyer are ready for a place of their own just the two of them, i would have just moved back in with my parents because their property is so big and we're so close. so i was just going to look out for them for the rest of their lives. even being as strange as i am, i do think i had a pretty happy childhood with very little trauma. i don't know where my issues come from and why i have such extreme anxiety because its not from anything that happened to me. my brain just isn't right.

twenty four
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

my relationship with my mother is both very loving to the point where it can be stifling and a source of my fears. she calls me "my wally" and kisses all over my face and generally loves the mess out of me. i'm named after her dad who passed away before any of us were born, including my older brother theo who my dad had in his first marriage but mom adopted. i was closest to her growing up because she always read to me and she is the writer of the family and i wanted to be just like her. but as i got older, things between us became... harder? on my end, anyway. she sees me in a light she wants me to be in, tries to tuck me into a mold i don't fit in and i rebel against it because i don't want to be someone i'm not. she is the main reason i've kept quiet about my writing because i don't want to be compared to her and i don't want to see disappointment in her eyes caused by me yet again. so... we're a little strained when it comes to that. but i know she loves me, it's in all of her actions.

twenty four
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

my mom and i are close. i think i'm closer to my father because we have more similar brains in terms of how we see the world which is what made it so easy for me to follow in a path similar to his. but my mom has been my biggest advocate as long as i can remember. i was in therapy for a really long time because of my speech issue and anxiety problems, and she was always there with me and i was always on time because of her. she worked with me for two decades on it until i felt comfortable enough to move out and moved in with laine and sawyer. she's a very lively personality and very welcoming to anyone i bring home, because she knows how hard it is for me to make deep connections, so she says she knows those people are special. she knew i was gay before i came out and always supported my lifestyle and decisions. i know i will always be able to rely on her to be there and i want to be able to do the same for her as we get older.

twenty five
Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."

we are both looking forward to a future together. we are both dedicated to each other. we are both in agreement that you won't cook anything for us.

twenty five
Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."

we both have the desire to compromise. we both share a love for the deeper stuff in life. we are both protective of each other.

twenty six
Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."

I wish I had someone with whom I could share laughter, tears, experiences and achievements.

twenty six
Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."

i wish i had someone with whome i could share peace and a long life with without fear of them growing tired of me.

twenty seven
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

it's important for you to know that when i say that i love you, i mean it in every shape or form. those words hold a lot of meaning for me and i don't just say them to hear them. when i tell you i love you, i'm reaffirming that i treasure you, your happiness makes me happy and i trust you with my whole heart.

twenty seven
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

for me, it's important that you know that when i say i have anxiety issues, it isn't just one of those things people say like i have anxiety, i have depression. i was diagnosed when i was four and i've been in some form of therapy the last twenty years. they're real diagnosed conditions with me and when i get overwhelmed or anxious, my brain just shuts down. its not something that's easy to control and is in no way a reflection of how i feel about you or us. its like wanting to turn left but your brain makes you turn right.

twenty eight
Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

i love your loyalty and your sincerity. there are times when you are unable to articulate what you're feeling in the moment, but you are never dishonest when you eventually tell me or show me what you were and are feeling. your loyalty to the family you've created for yourself is a great thing to see, especially because i know it isn't easy for you to open up to people like that. i like that you are like a puzzle and i get to learn different things about you everyday, the good and the bad. and i make fun of you for watching me sleep but i like the way you breathe when you're sleeping. it's really soothing and you are... the most gorgeous man i've ever seen.

twenty eight
Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

i love your energy. it's in such contrast to my own that it naturally and just automatically helps me out of my own shell and i feel safe doing that with you. you're very attentive and you notice a lot of details about people that others don't and i think that makes you such a good friend and partner to have. your heart may be one of the purest i've ever seen. i know you joke a lot as a defense mechanism for nervousness and insecurities, but under that, you're sincerely one of the most genuine people. you're also insanely attractive and it's hard for me to keep my hands off you.

twenty nine
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

ummmm.... when i was about 12 or 13, we put on our teacher's weird version of othello and i was the understudy for iago. the lead- FUCKING ALEX ROBERTS- showed up to dress rehearsal so damn late so i took his place. he says he was at the doctor but everyone knows that asshat was jerking off in the locker room. anyway, he got pissed off because i was running through the final scene instead of him. i don't know if you know othello or not because... i think it's trash, personally, but iago stabs his wife emilia and then bolts. i had just stabbed her and FUCKING ALEX ROBERTS storms on stage and pulled my pants down. i forgot to also say i had a crush on the girl playing emilia. her name was actually emily. emily nichols. like... she was it. and my whole dick was out in her face. he was the first guy's ass i ever kicked because the summer after that, my dad taught me karate and when i got back to school in the fall, it was on. i was used to making a fool out of myself by that point but the point is i did it to myself. it was worse because someone else did it to me so i couldn't even play it off.

twenty nine
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

i don't really have embarrassing stories because i don't really put myself out there enough for them. like i don't do anything that would really lead to anything that could be embarrassing and the things that i perceive that are usually aren't as big of a deal as what i make up in my head. i was teased alot in my early elementary years because i didn't speak much if at all, but it wasn't really bullying, just accepting that i was the weird kid. being left by your more or less fiance after taking them back though was pretty embarrassing but i don't feel those closest to me judged me.

thirty
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

i cried in front of you the other day, when i first fought with gene. but before that... i cried last when i got into an argument with my parents about where i'm heading in life because theo had gotten some award for his marine biology research and i was "still working at that little coffee shop and that isn't a real job when my degree was meant for more than that" according to my mom. i didn't cry because of that exactly, i cried more because i'd just received the call from my publisher with the numbers of the first week of sales for my book and i couldn't even tell them. contrary to popular belief, i don't cry very often. this shit with gene just has me all kinds of messed up.

thirty
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

that was the last time i cried in front of someone too because i can't handle fighting with people but when i feel backed into a corner, i kind of panic and freak and do whatever i have to in order to get away. i also didn't like causing problems between you guys. i don't like the way she treated you and that made me cry too. it was a lot of crying that day. i cry really easy. i cried to myself for a bit last time we did these questions too because the xander stuff is still really hard.

thirty one
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

what i like about you already is that you are close to your family. our relationships with members of our families are different but that you are involved in each other's lives makes me happy.

thirty one
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

what i like about you already is that you've been so patient and loving with me. you've been gentle and its been easy to figure out where my niche is in your life and with you.

thirty two
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

even though i made that bad "i don't know who you are" joke earlier, i don't want to joke about losing you. or losing us. i don't even want to joke about "well, what if one of us dies before the other". i can't do those.

thirty two
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think sometimes that joking about hooking up with other people fall into that line too. i think anything that could potentially make either of us insecure about our relationship are bad jokes or ill advised. and also, common sense, race and differences in people.

thirty three
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

i think you know this but i'd regret not telling my family i'm getting my mfa. and i don't want to tell them yet because i want to do it on my own with no input or stress from them. i want to know i'm successful on my own first without their names being tossed around and i don't want to be compared to them.

thirty three
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

i would regret not being able to have one last conversation with xander. to never know what happened, to not being able to show that i'm going to be just fine without him. but that's out of my control. i would also regret it if i didn't have enough time to tell the people i'm close to how much i love them. i try to keep things open with people and tell things though as they happen or when i remember to.

thirty four
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

my drive with my thesis on it. it's my thesis, first of all. it's also the first novel i've written that i've been this proud of, even if it is complete. i can't lose that.

thirty four
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

my journals, i couldn't lose all of my journals. there's only a small stack of them but they're therapy for me.

thirty five
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

even though our views are different on a lot of things and i credit her with a lot of the anxieties and stresses of my life, i'd have to say my mom. if it wasn't for all of that, i probably wouldn't be this passionate about literature and writing and i definitely would not have been working this hard at it. i love her to the moon and back even though sometimes she gets on my nerves and i can't imagine being without her. i'd miss the hugs and the nagging and the unsolicited stories about her sex life.

thirty five
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

it would be my mother too because she has been by my side through everything in life. losing either of my parents is going to be hard, but i feel like my mother has done the most when it comes to dealing with my problems and helping me grow and push through them. i would feel completely lost without her.

thirty six
Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

you already know my problem, this mess with gene. i don't know how to approach it or her.

"if it was me and say zelda, i would say once some time has passed, which it has, i would approach her and express that i understand why she's upset and that i know that i could have done more to show that i care, but also let her know that no one would be able to replace her in my life and while things may shift, she will always be an important part of my life. i would explain that my partner is my partner, and that this new person is now family too so its important that we do what we can to try to mend things than let them linger and destroy the bond. i think that you're both really mad at the way the other has acted, but i think you both need to evaluate the other perspective and find that middle ground because chosen family is so much more important than we give them credit for. i know you don't want to lose her from your life and i would express that."

thirty six
Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

my problem is my anxiety, i don't want to be like this for the rest of my life. scared of everything and afraid to do things and move forward. i want to have a life

"as a man who hasn't experienced anxiety as crippling as yours, i can only tell you that things are a lot easier in life when you don't try to do it all on your own. not at first, anyway. i've found that the best way to get over or past fears is to face them head on because hiding from them will just keep you afraid. always. you want to have a life and you deserve one, but you have to get yourself to that point where you know you have to grab the reins and direct your own life instead of letting anxiety do it for you. all easier said than done but remembering that you're not in it alone is a big part of that too. it doesn't happen overnight, it takes time, but so long as you're willing to put in the time and the work, you can do anything you want and, as cliche as it sounds, i'm right here. you've got me to air your anxieties so i can try to put you at ease."